Wow....... I am having a moment......
In 48 hours, I will be leaving Spokane to start a new chapter in my life in the Portland area.
I am so excited for all the new and exciting things to come. I am totally in love with the new
home that Bernie bought, even though I haven't yet passed through its front door.
I am looking forward to lots of Meemaw time with Sullivan and Cassidy.
I am looking forward to being so close to the ocean.
I have lived in this area for the last 49 years of my life. That is a long time. Many of those years
were not happy years. I suffered a lot of physical and mental abuse. These thoughts and memories still haunt me. I have spent the last two years working through that with a therapist. I have made great progress, but I am not yet where I want to be. I am hoping that a complete change of venue will help. This place brings up so many memories that I would rather forget. I can't even tell you how many nights a week my sleep is disturbed by haunting dreams from the past. It is not fun. So many characters from THAT past. Is it too late, at 60, to create enough wonderful memories to drown out the nasty ones? I am going to give it a shot.
But then, ...... there are a LOT of great memories here, too. Meeting and marrying the love of my life, Bernie. Giving birth to 3 of the most amazing sons ever! And, on & on with our little family. The homes we shared. The yards that Bernie turned into little paradises for us. The vacations we took with the kids....
And, then, there are so many of you who have become dear, dear friends. You don't make it easy to say good-bye. I've spent the last 3 weeks saying goodbye to many. I always have a huge lump in my throat when I leave another of you. So many fun memories of times together. So many laughs. SO. MUCH. WINE!!!
So, to all of you who have traveled this journey with me: THANK YOU! Thank you for your love and your friendship. Thank you for the ears you gave me. Thank you for the shoulders to cry on. Thank you for the hands that reached out to help me back up. I love you all....
stay tuned for the next chapter. It's going to be a doozy!!!